Barbara Sher's Wishcraft

 

It’s hard to believe that 30 years have passed since I held a copy of my first book in my hands, staring at the name WISHCRAFT on the cover and, right under it, my name. My life didn’t change, not at first. I was still a hard-working single parent of two boys, as I had been for over ten years, and I was still scraping by financially, to say nothing of the fact that I was almost 45 years old at the time, which in 1979 was considered a bit old for anyone, especially a woman, to be starting anything.

But on that day, as far as I was concerned, I was Cinderella at the ball because I had become a published writer. It was like a dream. I’d always had a secret fear that I would just pass through this life and no one would ever know I’d been here. Now everything was okay. It was on the record. I wrote a book, and I knew it was a good one because it was based on a painstakingly designed, 2-day workshop I’d been running for almost three years. I knew how much my workshop helped people. I watched them use my techniques to help each other turn impossible dreams into realities right in front of my eyes – setting up small businesses, finding ways to perform their plays in New York theaters, getting grants to travel the Appalachians taking photos of children, getting into (and through) good law schools, finding reliable help for adopting children — dreams as unique as the people who dreamed them.

I hoped WISHCRAFT would help people just as much as my workshops helped them, but I wasn’t sure if that was possible. I had recorded every one of the workshops (and at 12 hours each, that was a lot of audiocassettes) because I knew they were well worth saving, and I used those same words in the book. But people worked face to face in the workshops and I was worried that a book wouldn’t have the same impact.

I didn’t have to worry for long.

A few weeks after WISHCRAFT was published, letters started coming into my mailbox, handwritten letters in hand-addressed and stamped envelopes, a few every week at first, and then more and more until, after six months, I had cardboard boxes filled with letters piled high in my closet. Readers wrote to thank me for being so practical and down-to-earth, for understanding the reality of their lives, and for helping them pinpoint their dreams. They appreciated the fact that I told them to expect fear and negativity and they loved the complaining sessions I advised.

Some people sensed the workshop origins of WISHCRAFT and turned it into a reading group selection, spending up to a year going through the pages together and achieving all their dreams. Others told me WISHCRAFT was the text in one of their college courses and others asked for training to lead special ‘Success Teams,’ using WISHCRAFT as the guide.

Most people read the book on their own, but wrote that they no longer felt alone. Their letters invited me into their lives and they wanted me to know that they finally felt seen and understood and helped by WISHCRAFT and that certain passages were the key to getting them into action and taking steps toward their dreams. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

Thirty years have now passed and I’m still getting thank you letters, some from first-time readers, some from people who re-read WISHCRAFT after many years and want me to know that it has helped them again and again. I’m even hearing from their grown children.
 
I’ve been able to keep only a handful of the letters the post office brought me in the first 20 years. I’ve saved a few more of the emails that started coming 10 years ago, and continue to arrive almost every day. But no matter how many I receive, I’m still thrilled and honored to read them, and I personally answer as many as I can.

In publishing terms, WISHCRAFT is a success. It has never been out of print since that first hardcover copy I held in my hands in 1979. Publishers were happy to look at my later manuscripts and published five more of my books, which have also done well.

Because of WISHCRAFT I became a ‘somebody’. Freelance writers call to quote me in their magazine articles. I’m invited to speak in front of hundreds of audiences, from Fortune 100 companies and international outplacement firms, to parents at “unschooling” conferences, and classrooms of gifted children in rural schools. I’ve spoken in the US, Canada, Australia and Western Europe, Israel and even in countries that had just stepped out from behind the Iron Curtain and wanted to learn how to dream again.

At this writing I’ve done five public television pledge specials and plans are in the works for more. Occasionally, people even recognize me in airports, which surprises me because I’m usually flying in from overseas, tired, tousled and carrying a dog. I don’t look like a celebrity, and, happily, they never treat me like one. They talk to me as if we’ve known each other a long time. That is exactly what I would have wished for.

Because in personal terms, WISHCRAFT is a success greater than any I could ever have imagined. I’ve actually been given the rare opportunity to help people go after their dreams by offering them a non-mysterious, nuts-and-bolts way of reaching their goals -- even if they think they don’t know what their goals are, don’t believe in themselves and can’t sustain a permanent positive attitude. In fact, I want to give them a rarely-stated dose of happy reality: You don’t need to change yourself to change your life.

So I try to make everyone laugh at their negativity and realize that have everything they need inside them to create the life they want, and to see that the reason they haven’t achieved their dreams so far is because humans can’t sustain positive thinking, they need structure, accountability and support. Isolation and a lack of structure can create disorientation and fear. That’s why I repeat, over and over, ‘Isolation is the dream killer, not your lousy attitude.”

By now that message, first stated in WISHCRAFT, has rung a bell with millions of people. Because of their responses I’ve been able to earn my living for decades doing the work I love best. Like everyone else, I’ve been high and I’ve been low, but I’ve never been bored. Not for a moment. That has made the last thirty years fly by.

And it all started with WISHCRAFT. I hope my first book will give you the same engaging, meaningful life it has given me. Even more, I hope it will inspire you to help others go after their dreams, too. That would make me happiest of all.






 


Comments

skannie

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:18:08

You're still writing as good as ever Barbara. I love this description of how it all begun. If I'd come across you and Wishcraft 30 years ago it might have saved a lot of problems in my life, but much better late than never.

Happy Anniversary!!!

 

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:50:53

Don't forget how much your author forum has helped bring secret dreams to fruition too! Those circumstantially isolated people who might have been daunted by the logistics of finding others who could support them in making their dreams come true have been able to find that support on your forums. Thanks for your story Barbara, and for collecting the stories and issues of all the other folks who have gotten the benefits of your bright ideas!

 

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 08:50:59

Thank you for those kind words, Skannie. Yes, during most of its history, Wishcraft wasn't promoted at all and wasn't available in bookstores much of the time, even in the states. I worked endlessly with the Annie Gottlieb helping. She wrote for McCall's and got an article into the magazine, and McCall;s PR person got me a great gig on the Donahue show. (I don't even remember when that was -- mid to late 80's I think.)

I had the whole show to myself, and worked with people on the stage as well as doing a barnraising with the audience. It was a smash hit and suddenly WC started selling 50,000 copies a month. The publishers took notice and were happy to buy the second ten years of the contract at that time. After that the book wasn't considered new, and it's hard to get on major shows without a new book.

Oprah, of course, is a whole different ballgame. She's great. She does what she wants no matter when a book was published. But my story with Oprah takes place years later and with a different book.

 

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 08:56:37

You're referring to my bulletin board at www.barbarasher.com/boards I think, An&el. Yes, it's a wonderful place, that bulletin board. It's having a 10th anniversary this year.

It's an amazing place, not because of me but because of the remarkable, generous, intelligent people who populate it, helping each other in a way that warms my heart. I have two things to say about that?

1) Isolation is the dreamkiller.

2) I love the new technology and in my heart I thank, almost every day, the techies who sat around designing all this great stuff -- in this case, the bulletin boards. I was on Telnet, thanks to people who knew how to work it, on the bulletin board 'Echo,' in the early 80's and knew, the minute I saw it, that this was what I had been waiting for! People sharing info with people, reaching out and helping each other. It changes everything.

Oh, and 3. Isolation is the dreamkiller, again. :-)

 

Jane Meade

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 11:23:09

I remember seeing you on Sally Jesse Raphael. Is my memory correct? Then I bought "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was." LOVED the title. There were sightings on PBS and then LIVE and after all of that....I was a gonner.

Thanks to my own Success Team Experience I now "Do What I Love" in fact EVERYTHING that I love. Plus I get to use your wonderful process to teach others right here in LA! Or anywhere in the world now that we have Success Teams by Phone. I bless your Dreamer Heart! And I love all of the tough love you put behind it making sure we all achieve our Dreams. Many Thanks

 

Barbara Sher

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:41:11

Yes, your memory is correct, Ocean Jane. I was on her TV show. Years earlier, I took over her radio show on Xmas and New Year's -- had no idea what I was doing but the engineers were great. I'd been a guest and they invited me to cover for her vacations. I had a ball. Brought in my teenage kids and their friends for long discussions about money, love, sex and rock and roll. I forgot all about that. Thanks for reminding me. :-)

 

Denise E.

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:40:02

Dear Ms. Sher,
When I read your first paragraph (next to your photo of you holding your book) and you write that you were a single mom and starting something at age 45, well, some tears started streaming down my face here this morning. I´m a single mom, 45(for 11 more days!), living abroad, and have some dreams that I know I´ve still got to achieve. Sometimes I feel like I am swimming in fear. But thank you for reminding me that I need to make the effort not to isolate myself. To feel like I´m a part of a larger group, a community, of people that are encouraging, really does make the fear melt away.
I first saw your public tv pledge programs when we were living in the Bay Area. One of my favorites is the show in which you are wearing a red dress and you talk about achieving dreams at age 40 and on. I can´t tell you how much I needed to see that very program at that very minute, and I turned on the tv and there it was.
Thank you for being such an inspiration to me so many of us.
A very Happy Birthday to Wishcraft.

 

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:57:53

Hi Denise

Where are you? Come on to my bulletin board at www.barbarasher.com and go into the Wish and Obstacle forum and tell us what those wishes are -- and what obstacles you're confronting. Wait til you find out what it's like to be surrounded by smart, kind people who really want to help. It's a whole new ballgame. And you can't do it alone. I was on my own with my kids, and broke too, but I had some good friends and knowing that made all the difference.

 

maureen cadigan

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 08:36:47

will you be out in western US in the coming months?

 

Denise

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 10:42:57

Thank you so much Barbara. I will definitely check out the website more!

We are in a coastal town outside of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We have several more years of work here before we move back to the US. Though I´ve kept my day job, my life long love for dance has always carried me through most anything that life throws at me. So last year, at age 45, I started taking a jazz class again in the eves. Yes, I was trying to blend in with other dancers in their 20s and I was way older than the teacher too, but it was pure joy once I got myself to class and got myself out of isolation. At the end of the year we had a performance, a jazz/tango number. Afterwards I was told that some of the moms of the younger ones said they wanted to be in the class too because they saw someone on stage that was their age. This year I´m going to do another show, that´s my dream. I love the challenge and the beauty of working as an ensemble. It´s the continual setting aside of obstacles for me, the fear of being judged dancing at this age. But the more I get to class and am around the power of the group, that I begin to leave the fear behind and I just feel the love.

I look forward to the Global Birthday Celebration for Wishcraft in March! Thank you for all that you do!

 



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